"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground." Ephesians 6:13
Today marks two weeks since my last dietician appointment. It was really difficult at first to get into the swing of my new meal plan but as the days went by it became less stressful and seemed pretty normal. I abided by her recommendations and didn't fight the list at all.
This morning I boarded the max to visit Valerie for my second time. This visit was a little bit different because nerves took over. I felt sick to my stomach and was scared to see what these past 2 weeks have done to me. That scale scared the crap out of me. I still refuse to see the number and I don't think I will ever want to see it again. Why do we let that number dictate who we are?
She asked me how I handled these past 2 weeks and I told her everything from waking up with night sweats to having a breakdown over the amount of carbs I ate one day. She reassured me that night sweats were a sign that my metabolism was boosting into gear. Great news.
"The fact that you are already having those symptoms Shannon is great!" Positive feedback...wonderful...just what I needed to hear.
It then came that time, which I dread...time to check my weight. Once I stepped up, she paused and said, "Oh dear.""What does that mean?!" "It means that instead of gaining weight you lost 1 1/2 pounds." Huh...usually I would be jumping for joy over this news, but now I just wanted to cry. After all my hard work these past 14 days, and I have to hear that I' m going the opposite direction of where I should be heading. She had suspected that this would be the case, just with everything going in my life right now.
"Well Shannon, do not get discouraged! This just means we have to work a litte bit harder."
She continually gives me hope and reminds me that everything we are doing to my body is a science and has to be perfected. It's about finding that right balance that works for us.
If anything, this news has made me want to fight and destroy this disease even more!!! It will not defeat me. With God by my side I know I can get through this.
I have my new notes to go off of, we're mixing things up a bit, and adding more of the healthy fats to lunch and dinner. I'm really excited to try new meals and experiment with these new ingredients. Eating the same thing day in and day out gets old after while. It still amazes me that I was able to stomach eating Special K Cereal, every meal for over a year. It absolutely breaks my heart that I let it get to that point.
But now I am on to new and better things! Once again it all comes down to hope. Without hope in God, hope does not exist. God has blessed me with a wonderful dietician who supports me and gives me the encouragement that I need. I pray that God holds my hand these next two weeks. Out with the old me and in with the new!
Lord, cover me with peace, truth, faith, and salvation so I can stand firm in the battle.
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