Since June of 2007 I have constantly been asking God this question. Why me and why my family?
Trials come in all sizes. Some come more like a breeze and others like a hurricane. These past 5 years have seemed more like a tropical storm. Gusts of wind that knock you down over and over again and with no break in between. When we first experienced the eye of the storm I thought I was trapped and there was no way of being rescued.
"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing." Psalm 40:1-10
I loved playing the victim card to God. Making it all about me and the unfairness of my situation. "God what did I ever do to deserve this?" He answered, "I have good news for you...I am with you. I want to comfort you and heal your broken heart. At this very moment I am pushing back hell and fighting your battles for you...You deeply grieve your losses, and your grief is valid...Come to me. Allow my spirit to touch your wounds. I promise you, I will replace your devastation and despair with my spirit of gladness and joy." ~When Life Is Hard by James MacDonald
God has healed me in so many ways. I have finally chosen to allow my pain to motivate me to become a better person; To move me forward in the right direction. My counselor put it in an interesting way..."Shannon you were so young when you lost your dad, but you are so blessed that it happened when it did. For most people, they don't come to the stage of healing that you're currently in until their late 40's. I am so proud of where you are now." She is SO right. I am incredibly blessed that I have been able to experience this growth opportunity at such a fragile age. It not only strengthened me but also gave me such an incredible life lesson that brought me the closest I have ever been to the Father. My wounds have given me depth and character.
"I would rather walk with God in the dark than go alone in the light," Mary Gardiner Brainard.
I thank you God that you chose me to experience everything that I have. May you use my trials to help those who still grope in the shadows. Help me to shine your light for everyone to see. I live a life of purpose and love and rest in the Father's arms.
This is my beautiful friend Taylor Grey's artwork. To see some other samples visit her etsy page at http://www.etsy.com/shop/taylormadelove.
She is a gorgeous woman inside and out. Love you Tay! Thank you so much for your encouragement.
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