A Lesson of Hope

Surprisingly I was not nervous at all stepping into the hospital waiting room. With the Lord's strength and my mom by my side, I knew everything was going to be okay. This past Thursday was my first dietician appointment. As I stepped into my doctors office, the first thing I noticed were books stacked on top of each other with bindings that had titles such as BINGING, ANOREXIA, and STRUGGLING WITH EATING DISORDERS. What great reads...I knew right away I was in it for the long haul.

She wanted to know what brought me here, and I explained the issue and with encouraging words she gave me hope, saying that this was a huge step coming here today and she could see my commitment.

"Everything you have done to your body Shannon is reversible." Such a sigh of relief to hear those words. Once again, my disorder comes back to that lesson of Hope. Hope for a new beginning and Hope that I will be healthy again.

As I continued to tell her my story she then wanted to know what a day in the life of Shannon was like. I started off listing everything I ate for breakfast, snacks, lunch, and dinner. Then the tough questions came..."Are you hungry all the time? Do you find yourself falling asleep easily? Do you forget things? Is your skin really dry?"  My head was absolutely spinning, and of course all of my answers  were yes. Not good. She explained to me that because I have excluded fats and carbs out of my diet all of these aspects of my life are slacking. Your body needs fats, despite the what our society thinks of them.

"Shannon, once you start adding back those healthy fats, you are going to feel so much better."
Once again, pointing towards Hope.

At the end of the meeting we discussed goals, and these are what I came up with:

• be a healthy weight
• don't let the fear of food consume my life
• gain my love of cooking back
• enjoy meals with family and friends
• gain self-confidence in my image, as well as who I am as a person

She is starting me off slowly incorporating new things into my diet. It is a science and she informed me that if we add things too fast my metabolism will spike and I will drop weight like crazy. Definitely don't want to go that route. Right now she has me adding 1/4 C almonds to my diet everyday, along with 1 tsp oil to lunch and dinner, and then adding 1/2 carb/starch to whatever I eat. Seems easy to the average person, but to me this is an obstacle that I need to overcome. It's hard, I'm not gonna lie. But I made a promise to my family, my doctor, God and myself. I am not going to let anyone down this time. I am determined to not let Satan win this battle. God has my back and he is fighting right along side me.