"So what is serenity? It is actually eating on Thanksgiving Day.It is enjoying myself at a cookout. It is being along without being afraid. It is having the energy to walk around the block. It is letting go. It is letting people get close to me and my boundaries. It is honest. It is being able to say no. It is the ability to focus. It is the passion to pursue my dreams. It's having so much more time for living. It's me. And it can be you too." Jenni, Life with Ed
It's been a little over 2 years now that I have been fighting a constant battle, but day by day I am gaining more freedom, and leaving "Ted" (what I named my eating disorder) behind. As part of the recovery process, my counselor wanted me to destroy my so called, "skinny jeans." With wearing them, I still held on to a part of my childhood. I loved looking and feeling like a little girl, when I should be embracing the various stages of womanhood. By accepting being a woman I was leaving the memories of my dad behind. I became an adult without a father, and I wanted to cling on to those memories with him for as long as possible. By looking in the mirror each morning, I would stare back at a "younger" version of myself; making it seem like no time had passed by, and that perhaps, my dad still was on "vacation."
Well time has passed and now that I have become a woman, I have put away the little girl within. Life with Ted is no more. He cannot tear the joy from my life. I am beautiful, strong, and God made me just the way I am to shine for his glory. I have taken back control and am ready to start living once again. So long Ted. This time I have defeated you. Take that you piece of crap.
Hey girl, we don't talk enough anymore, but you are such an inspiration to me. We have both gone our separate ways but we face the same struggles. They way that you deal with yours encourages me to face mine. I love you, and you will never stop doing amazing things.
ReplyDeleteThis made my day <3 My main focus is to help others with this same struggle, so to hear you say that my words are encouraging, is the best. I know God brought it into my life for a reason, and unfortunately it's such a huge problem in our society today. I'm using his strength to get through this. Love you.
ReplyDeletedamn. you go girl! be strong Shannon, set fire to the rain!
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you for sharing and being so open, it really is encouraging as we all face our own demons.